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The Confessions of a Singaporean Gangster in London – Chapter 37 “The Letter.”

Posted by inspir3d on February 20, 2005

My dearest love,I wrote this letter and slipped it in your coat, just last night. That night, I saw a star die, just exactly the way, you once described it.

There it was one moment, then gone in a blink of an eye. That star had burned out millions of years ago, and yet its fire had streamed outwards every since, a searching ribbon of light, seen from one end, so it looked tiny, paid out like a long line through the keyhole of time, until the last length slipped through and all that remained was darkness.

My dearest this is how I see our love, that night, when I saw you again in the Casino and now even as I write turning to you. I realized, if it hadn’t been for you, I’m not sure I could have continued living all these years.

Tonight, you gave me a lifetime, a universe, and made the separate parts of me whole that is all, I can ever expect from life, that is really all I really expect.

Though we shall never speak again to one another, we will forever remain bound together as tightly as it’s possible for two people to be bound on this earth. I cannot find the words to express this adequately. It is as if, I had ceased completely to be a single being and that part of you has somehow transformed me into a third being. Neither of us exist independent of that being.

Even now as I close my eyes, I can feel your presence somewhere, always there in my heart – it is a large heart my love, it can hold everything at once, and when I think of who I am now, I gives me the strength to do the things that needs to be done – to buy your freedom.

My love no matter which way we travel on the road of life – the direction of my heart will remain the same, you know the direction I mean – homeward, to that place where you will always stand as my one and only love.

So listen to me my love and take wing, take Jeannie with you and live your life for me and forget me.

Go well my love.

Chan Sim

PS: I know you heard rumors that I have given birth to a baby boy, the baby is a “she” my love, her name is Mei Ling, she is the fruit of our love.

darkness 2002


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